Happy 8th Day of Halloween, one and all!!!!
To start our 2nd week of Halloween, let’s go on a REALLY BAD date!!! Today we discuss…
This 2015 flick was directed by Tyler Shields, who is better known for his “provocative photography”, and who should really stick to just that.
This weakly sketched out story of a young girl, Veronica (Abigail Breslin) raised by total stranger, William (Wes Bentley), and trained to be a killer.
Kind of like the movie Hanna, but not really. See, we don’t really know why William is doing this, or how the hell he came to get custody of Veronica. Her parents died so she was just up for grabs??!! 1st weirdo single guy who comes along and wants to adopt a little girl gets her????? !!!!! WTF???? Here is the 1st of many story/plot issues.
Next, somewhere in the middle of nowheresville/small town USA, we have a group of 4 sociopaths
who just love to hunt….
Yep… that’s our horror movie plot. A well trained assassin teen girl versus 4 cocky teen jerks! Sounds horrific doesn’t it??!!! GEEE, I wonder how this will end??!!!
What makes this movie even more unbearable is Shields obsessive desire to try and make every scene a shot for Glamour magazine! Not beautiful like a Guillermo del Toro set…
rich and lush, full of life and textures. No Shields went for the cold, empty, flaccid look of a fashion photo shoot…
Cute, edgy, boy band or gang of murderous maniacs???
Now this technique worked well in Neon Demon,
which wasn’t my favorite, but still the style and fashion driven aesthetic was better used, better lit, and better directed than Final Girl. Hell, it even had more of a story line and character development.
Final Girl, was so heavily back lit, I felt I was watching an 80’s hair metal/power ballad video …
See what I mean??? Lots of back-lighting, tons of fog. Wheres that light source even coming from you may ask yourself?
Why the hell are there Panda head dudes?
Yep, same movie here!! Now there’s scary furries??!!!
I could go on and on!!!!
I was so mad this film even got made!!! $8 million dollars…
If I ever meet the backers of this I’m going to make them pay me back for wasting my time!!
Final Girl was trying to be an artsy horror film, and ended up being a crappy ad campaign for angsty teen suits!!!
You can literally see, many of Shields “horror movie ideas” played out in his photography…
It should come as no shock, I would NOT recommend wasting your time with this one…
Final Girl gets…
1 SQUEAL OF DELIGHT
but 3 GROANS OF DISAPPOINTMENT!!!
Thanks for stopping by and check back for 23 more DAYS OF HORROR!!!!